Latest posts
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Jefferson County… I Need You to Rate My Wood
Jefferson County… I need you to rate my wood. Settle down. We’re talking about the livestock shelter. Forty-one years old and I finally built something with my own two hands. Can I get a Boy Scout badge now? Not Eagle Scout. Let’s not get carried away. Maybe the “Didn’t Lose a Finger” Merit Badge. Because…
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I Didn’t Choose the Farm Life. The Farm Life Chose Me.
“I didn’t choose the farm life. The farm life chose me.” Tupac was talking about something completely different… but somehow it still feels accurate. Last night at exactly 11:00 p.m., right when I was fast asleep. And let’s be honest, once you cross 40, staying awake past 10:00 p.m. isn’t “living a little.” It’s self-sabotage.…
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When Did Owning Goats Require a Degree in Geology?
How do Amish people know this stuff without Google, when did owning goats require a degree in geology, and can someone please save me from making an $800 mistake with… dirt? I’ve got an 8×24 prefab goat shed showing up soon, which means I’ve entered the part of farm ownership where everyone suddenly has a…
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My Honeymoon Budget Just Lost a Fight to a Goat Shed
🚨 Breaking News: My Honeymoon Budget Just Lost a Fight to a Goat Shed. I’ve officially reached the age where I’m shopping for luxury housing… …for goats. Humans are fascinating. We looked at an animal that happily eats poison ivy, cardboard, and anything else that lost the will to live, and collectively decided, “You know…
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Our Goats Need Names
We added two lovely ladies to the farm, and both of them have beards. It reminds me of living in Portland, Oregon, but the rent is lower and these women are easier to please. One may have a bun, or possibly a tin can, in the oven. That is a goat joke. Please respect the…
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BREAKING NEWS: I’m Apparently Looking for a Goat OB-GYN Now
BREAKING NEWS FROM THE FARM: I’m apparently looking for a goat OB-GYN now. Yep. This is adulthood. Somewhere between buying a chainsaw and arguing over the price of gravel, I found myself wondering, “Anybody know a good obstetrician… for a goat?” Just brought home these two lovely ladies, and I gotta say, they remind me…
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Exciting News: We’re Having Twins
My partner and I have some exciting news we’d like to share with our family, friends, and everyone around Bloomingdale. We’re having twins. Like every responsible soon-to-be parent, I’ve been doom-scrolling parenting groups at 2 a.m. Apparently you’re supposed to have a nursery, a birth plan, a registry, seventeen different kinds of bottles, twelve backup…
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Are Goats Ticklish? And Other Questions the Internet Failed Me On
There are no stupid questions… …which is fantastic news, because I’m about to ask enough of them to get politely escorted out of Tractor Supply. Are goats ticklish? Hear me out. I’ve officially reached the end of the internet. Google has started contradicting itself. Reddit is 4,000 strangers confidently arguing with one another while a…