Real shirts. Real logo. Ten dollars of every one goes to the animals. Printed and shipped by the store, so nobody on this farm has to touch a label maker.
The first one
The Bigfoot’s Farm Logo Tee
$20 · sizes S to 3XL · military green
The round logo — Bigfoot, the trees, the whole operation — on a soft, heavyweight tee in the one color that hides hay, mud, and whatever the goats did. Wear it to the feed store and let strangers ask.
- $10 of every shirt goes to the animals after printing costs. Same receipt policy as the book.
- Printed to order and shipped straight to you by the store. Returns and sizing are handled there too.
- Ships in the US; card, PayPal, and the usual wallets at checkout.
You’ll be on bigfoots-farm-shop.fourthwall.com, our official store. It opens in a new tab so the goats don’t lose you.
New
The Crappy Dreams Mug
$15 · 11 oz · also 15 oz and 20 oz · white ceramic
“Don’t follow your dreams. They shit everywhere.” It is the most honest sentence ever printed on a coffee mug, and I have four acres of evidence. Bigfoot, a mini donkey and a goat, walking down a path that is technically a path and is also, unmistakably, a minefield.
Drink out of it at six in the morning while you pull your boots on and survey whatever happened out there overnight. It pairs well with coffee, regret, and the phrase “I’ll fix that this weekend.”
- Every mug is about two bales of hay for the goats. Same receipt policy as the book and the shirt.
- 11 oz for normal people, 15 oz for realists, 20 oz for anyone who owns livestock.
- Ceramic, dishwasher and microwave safe. Printed to order and shipped straight to you by the store.
You’ll be on bigfoots-farm-shop.fourthwall.com, our official store. It opens in a new tab so the goats don’t lose you.
For when Ohio remembers it’s Ohio
The Bigfoot’s Farm Logo Hoodie
From $43 · unisex S to 5XL · military green
The same round logo as the tee, on a midweight hoodie in the one color that forgives everything a barn can do to a person. Eight ounces of 50/50 cotton and polyester, regular fit, big front pocket for cold hands and whatever the goats stole.
This is the one you’ll reach for at 6am in November, when the water buckets are frozen and you have opinions about it. Ohio does not ease into winter. Ohio simply arrives.
- $20 of every hoodie goes to the animals after printing costs — about four bales of hay, or one pedicure for Gus’s hooves.
- Unisex sizing from S to 5XL. Larger sizes cost the printer more, so they cost a little more here — no surprises at checkout.
- Printed to order and shipped by the store. Returns and sizing are handled there too.
You’ll be on bigfoots-farm-shop.fourthwall.com, our official store. It opens in a new tab so the goats don’t lose you.
Why merch, and why these
People kept asking for merch. We kept saying “soon,” which on this farm is a unit of time somewhere between a fence repair and a contractor callback. Then the logo got finished, and the shirt turned out to be the easy part: the store prints each one when you order it, so there’s no box of mediums in the barn getting eaten.
The rule is the same as the book. A real cut of every order is animals, and we say the number out loud. Ten dollars of every shirt and roughly two bales of hay per mug turn into feed and vet bills for the crew on the Meet the Animals page. Wear the logo, feed a goat. That’s the whole transaction.
More is coming
Still to come: hats, and at least one design about the contractor situation. Mariah and I are still in the font dispute. The mailing list hears about every drop first — that’s not marketing, that’s just the order of operations around here.
Looking for the book? That one ships from here, signed, and it’s on its own page.