Latest posts
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The Harbor Freight Auger Tried to Kill Me
People have been digging holes since the beginning of civilization. We buried food. We planted crops. We installed fences. We hid bodies from tax collectors. At some point humanity looked at the shovel and said, “There has to be a machine that makes this easier.” Harbor Freight heard the prayer and sent me a gas…
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The Lowe’s Employee Who Arrived After the War
I loaded ten pressure-treated 6×6 posts onto a cart at Lowe’s by myself. If you have never handled one, each post weighs roughly the same as a wet corpse that refuses to cooperate. By number six, my spine was sending goodbye letters to the rest of my body. By number ten, I had met God…
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Looking for the King of All Handymen
LOOKING FOR “The KING of all HANDYMAN” IN BLOOMINGDALE, OHIO I’m moving to Bloomingdale this week and I’m looking for that mythical being every small town seems to have. You know the guy. The one who sees a leaking pipe and doesn’t panic. The garage door quits opening and he just laughs and says, “Yep,…
