Latest posts
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Facebook Farming: 37,000 Certified Experts
The best part about starting a farm isnât the animals. Itâs discovering Facebook contains exactly 37,000 certified experts. Post one picture. Within six minutes⊠An Amish guy, a retired welder, somebodyâs aunt, and a teenager with anime profile pictures all explain why youâre doing it wrong. And somehow⊠Theyâre all right. Bigfootâs Farm. Built by…
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A Grown Man Getting Emotional in a Pasture
Three years ago I promised Mariah a horse property. Tonight I came home, looked across the pasture at Coco and Freya standing together, and realized I actually kept it.
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Living With a Vet Tech
Living with a vet tech is like living with the worldâs weirdest CSI agent. I walked into my kitchen this morning and thereâs a microscope sitting next to the coffee maker. Mariah has the biggest grin on her face staring into a Petri dish. I ask, âWhatcha doing?â She says, âLooking for worms.â Just⊠casually.…
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Welcome to the Farm (Now With Website)
Well. We have a website now. For everyone who’s been following the daily disasters on Facebook and asking “where can I keep up with this that isn’t Facebook?” â you’re looking at it. The blog lives here now, safe from any algorithm’s opinion about whether you deserve to see a picture of a goat committing…
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Looking for the King of All Handymen
LOOKING FOR âThe KING of all HANDYMANâ IN BLOOMINGDALE, OHIO Iâm moving to Bloomingdale this week and Iâm looking for that mythical being every small town seems to have. You know the guy. The one who sees a leaking pipe and doesnât panic. The garage door quits opening and he just laughs and says, âYep,…
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What Started as a Joke
The exact moment the joke became legally binding. What started as a joke about seeing if anyone would actually buy a slightly haunted house turned into it selling in less than 24 hours for full asking price. Apparently the universe heard me laughing and said, âHold my beer.â Then somehow, against all logic, common sense,…
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Hey Clark⊠Shitter’s Full. Or Is It?
Hey Clark⊠shitterâs full. Or is it?? Bloomingdale crew, I need a brave soul. A septic wizard. A poop detective. Iâm trying to buy a house and the septic system has been sitting there for years⊠untouched⊠untested⊠just marinating underground like some kind of forbidden soup. No oneâs lived there, so the countyâs basically…
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DO YOU EVEN LIFT, BRO?
DO YOU EVEN LIFT, BRO? Because Iâm looking for a few strong dudes, you know the type⊠dads needing beer money, former football players, blue collar warlords, or 54-year-old men with terrifying âdad strengthâ where they shake your hand and you immediately understand why drywall fears them. Again- You know the type. Can deadlift a…
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GHOST-FREE HOUSE FOR SALE
GHOST-FREE HOUSE FOR SALE. But if thatâs your thing, Iâll stick around and scare you for the first year after you buy it. 1045 8th Ave, Brackenridge, PA 15014 The house in question. Note the complete absence of visible ghosts. Frank is camera-shy. Asking $170,000, because apparently in 2026 that is what a decent house…
