Serious agricultural question: how many farm animals must a man own before he is legally permitted to wear a cowboy hat without looking like he got separated from a bachelor party in Nashville?
We have land. We have goats. Horses are arriving. I have fencing problems and opinions about gravel. On paper, I am getting close. But a cowboy hat is a commitment. You cannot quietly enter Tractor Supply wearing one. The hat enters first and announces that you know how to rope something.
A cowboy hat enters the room before you do and announces that you know how to rope something, bury something or make a body disappear beyond the county road. My current résumé says I can order tools online and cry quietly beside an unfinished fence.
— TO BE CONTINUED INSIDE THE BOOK —
The rest of this dispatch — and 59 more, including the ones too incriminating for the internet — lives in What The F(arm): Sixty Dispatches from an Unqualified Ohio Farmer. Pre-order for $25. When 100 people are in, the presses roll.