Hey Clark… shitter’s full. Or is it??
Bloomingdale crew, I need a brave soul. A septic wizard. A poop detective.
I’m trying to buy a house and the septic system has been sitting there for years… untouched… untested… just marinating underground like some kind of forbidden soup. No one’s lived there, so the county’s basically like “yeah we got nothin.”
Meanwhile I don’t even enjoy picking up my dog’s poop, and now I’m about to inherit an entire subterranean civilization of it. Incredible decision-making on my part.
Apparently there are two leach fields, which sounds less like plumbing and more like something you unlock in a horror game after making a bad choice. I’ve seen Stand By Me. I know how this goes. One wrong step and I’m out there doing the worm in a swamp screaming about leeches that may or may not exist.
So here’s what I need:
• Someone who can tell me if this system is solid… sketchy… or legally considered a biohazard
• Someone who can explain what a leach field actually does without ruining food forever
• Someone who can look at it and say “you’re good” or “absolutely not, run”
If you’re the kind of person who gets excited about tanks, pipes, and mysterious underground sludge… you’re my people.
Looking for a legit septic expert around Bloomingdale / Jefferson County.
Help me avoid buying a house where the biggest feature is… the poop situation.
That was the free stuff. The premium nonsense comes as a signed book — $40 paperback, $75 hardcover, or $100 for a three-pack to split with your group chat. Half of every copy turns into hay. Feed a goat, get a book.
