Latest posts
-
The Sun Wakes Up Every Morning and Chooses Violence
Iām about one more 92-degree day away from laying down in the Tractor Supply stock tank and calling it a vacation. I need a good local swimming hole. Also, if you happen to see an unusually pale creature wandering toward the water, donāt call the DNR. Itās not the White Sasquatch. Itās just me, an…
-
Wanted: Chicken Coop Inspector (Not Kidding)
HONEST REQUEST. Iām looking for a chicken coop inspectorā¦.. Not kidding. This isnāt one of my weird jokes this time. Yesterday my chicken coop apparently decided it had accomplished everything it wanted in life, got blackout drunk on fermented scratch grain, and laid down in the yard like an uncle after six Busch Lights and…
-
Chicken Coop U-Haulā¦ Where You At?
Chicken Coop U-Haulā¦ where you at? Apparently we can summon a stranger to deliver sushi, a mattress, or drive us to the airport with three taps on a phoneā¦ But the second you need to move a chicken coop, civilization completely collapses. Iām looking for recommendations, or maybe someone with a truck, a tilt trailer,…
-
The Amish Are Going to Hate This Idea
The Amish are going to hate this ideaā¦ hear me out. The rocking chair has had an unbelievable run. Itās the Tom Brady of porch furniture. It has dominated for generations, carried Cracker Barrel on its back, and probably sold more sweet tea than every marketing campaign in history combined. But I think itās time.…
-
Turn Gasoline Into Beer Money
LOOKING FOR SOMEONE WHO ENJOYS TURNING GASOLINE INTO BEER MONEY šŗ Got less than an acre that needs cut in Bloomingdale. Not a jungle. Not a golf course. Somewhere in the middle where Mother Nature is trying, but not that hard. The yard has a gentle slope. You wonāt need mountain-climbing gear or a rescue…
-
Friends Don’t Let Friends Build Barns on Crooked Ground
Friendās donāt let friends build barns without making sure the ground is level first. Or, in my case, they just call Dale Devore, who casually shows up with a machine worth more than my entire house like itās no big deal. Meanwhile, Iām standing there with a shovel and a tape measure thinking, āYeahā¦ I…
-
A Tale of Timber and Tribulations
Iām not asking for help this time. Just wanted to share this one so everyone can laugh at my expense. A Tale of Timber and Tribulations There are moments in life when you realize the universe has been quietly laughing at you for weeks. Mine arrived in the form of a tree. Not just any…