LOOKING FOR SOMEONE WHO ENJOYS TURNING GASOLINE INTO BEER MONEY 🍺
Got less than an acre that needs cut in Bloomingdale. Not a jungle. Not a golf course. Somewhere in the middle where Mother Nature is trying, but not that hard.
The yard has a gentle slope. You won’t need mountain-climbing gear or a rescue helicopter. If you’ve ever walked uphill carrying a case of beer, you’re already qualified.
Not many obstacles. No elaborate zig-zagging around garden gnomes, koi ponds, or decorative nonsense. Mostly point mower forward and send it.
Looking to set up a regular cut every 2-3 weeks for the rest of the season.
The previous guy charged $80. I understand inflation has been beating all of us with a folding chair, so let’s call it $100 a cut and keep everybody happy.
No weed eating required. No landscaping degree needed. Just bring the mower, tractor, or mechanical beast that cost more than my 2009 Honda Element and knock down the grass.
If you’re in the Bloomingdale area and want some easy beer money, shoot me a message. Bonus points if we can get this operation underway today before the grass starts applying for protected wildlife status.
Dispatches like this one are being collected in What The F(arm): Sixty Dispatches from an Unqualified Ohio Farmer — $40, half of which turns straight into hay for the horses, the mini donkey, and the baby goats. The presses roll when 100 people pre-order.