You know you’ve officially moved to the middle of nowhere when Domino’s looks at your address and laughs.
No pizza.
No DoorDash.
No Uber Eats.
If civilization collapses, I won’t notice until my Amazon packages stop showing up.
Speaking of which…
My UPS driver now follows my Facebook page.
He actually gave me advice about possible Bigfoot sightings.
Honestly…
If anyone knows what’s hiding in these woods…
It’s the guy wearing two shades of brown who’s been down every sketchy driveway in the county.
That was the free stuff. The premium nonsense comes as a signed book ($40, half is hay) or weekly letters from the farm. Choose your fighter, feed a goat either way.







