LOOKING FOR “The KING of all HANDYMAN” IN BLOOMINGDALE, OHIO
I’m moving to Bloomingdale this week and I’m looking for that mythical being every small town seems to have.
You know the guy.
The one who sees a leaking pipe and doesn’t panic.
The garage door quits opening and he just laughs and says, “Yep, seen that before.”
The porch starts leaning a little funny and instead of watching six YouTube videos and accidentally creating a fire hazard, he fixes it before lunch.
Light electrical work? Check.
Basic plumbing? Check.
Doors, windows, decks, fences, weird noises coming from places that shouldn’t make noises? Check.
I’m looking for the reason the phrase “Jack of All Trades” was invented.
In fact, his name might actually be Jack.
The guy with 47 years of experience, 312 tools in his truck, and enough leftover hardware in coffee cans to rebuild a small country.
The kind of handyman who looks at a problem and sees a fun little puzzle instead of a disaster.
If that’s you, or you know the local legend I’m describing, drop a name below.
I’d like to spend less time watching YouTube tutorials titled “This Simple Repair Took Only 5 Minutes!” and less time discovering why mine somehow took six hours, three trips to the hardware store, and a mild emotional breakdown.
Bloomingdale area. Recommendations appreciated.
Dispatches like this one are being collected in What The F(arm): Sixty Dispatches from an Unqualified Ohio Farmer — $40, half of which turns straight into hay for the horses, the mini donkey, and the baby goats. The presses roll when 100 people pre-order.