Shopping for a used farm truck is exactly like online dating, except the truck is more honest about having rust and commitment issues.
Every listing says “runs great,” followed by pictures taken at dusk from 40 feet away. The frame is never photographed. The dashboard has more warning lights than a Christmas parade, and the seller says the transmission “just needs a sensor.” Of course it does. Everything needs a sensor when you are holding cash.
The dashboard has more warning lights than a Christmas parade, and the seller says it only needs a sensor. That sensor is apparently connected to the part that senses whether the fucking truck is still alive.
— TO BE CONTINUED INSIDE THE BOOK —
The rest of this dispatch — and 59 more, including the ones too incriminating for the internet — lives in Hey! What The Farm!. Pre-order for $40 — half prints the book, half feeds the crew. Signed copies ship September 26, 2026.
