I hired a handyman. He arrived, looked at the work, discussed materials, promised a start date and then disappeared so completely I assume the federal government gave him a new identity.
No call. No text. No estimate. Just silence.
Contractors do not say no anymore. They say, “I’ll send that over tonight,” then walk backward into the woods like Homer Simpson entering a hedge.
— TO BE CONTINUED INSIDE THE BOOK —
The rest of this dispatch — and 59 more, including the ones too incriminating for the internet — lives in Hey! What The Farm!. Pre-order for $40 — half prints the book, half feeds the crew. Signed copies ship September 26, 2026.
