Lowe’s Employees Recognize Me Now

Lowe’s Employees Recognize Me Now

I’ve reached a level of adulthood where Lowe’s employees recognize me.

Not by my face.

By my expression.

It’s that thousand-yard stare that says…

“I came in for one bolt and somehow spent $412.”

Every trip starts with confidence.

Every trip ends with three carts and a crisis.


Stay in touch with Bigfoot and his farm — join the mailing list on any page, or go full analog with the Penpal Club: real letters, real stamps, occasional Bigfoot hair. New nonsense drops every Tuesday and Friday.


Fall further down the hole

Six buckets of regret. Pick your poison.

The Origin Story — browse these posts
The Animals — browse these posts
The Property Is Trying to Kill Me — browse these posts
Hired Help and Hardware — browse these posts
Rural Community SOS — browse these posts
Book Teasers — browse these posts