This is not a blog. This is a running record of farm stories and fails — written live, from the mud, by a man who once believed twelve acres would be “peaceful.” Everything here actually happened. That’s the problem. My suffering is your entertainment. Enjoy responsibly.
New dispatches drop every Tuesday and Friday. The farm does not take weeks off. Neither does the suffering.
Browse by category of regret
Latest dispatches
Want every single one on a single page, newest first? That’s Bigfoot’s Rabbit Hole. Cancel your evening.
-
A Grown Man Getting Emotional in a Pasture
Three years ago I promised Mariah a horse property. Tonight I came home, looked across the pasture at Coco and Freya standing together, and realized I actually kept it.
-
Chicken Coop U-Haul… Where You At?
Chicken Coop U-Haul… where you at? Apparently we can summon a stranger to deliver sushi, a mattress, or drive us to the airport with three taps on a phone… But the second you need to move a chicken coop, civilization completely collapses. I’m looking for…
-
Dead Trees vs. Live Trees: A Perfectly Normal Adult Decision
I’ve reached a level of adulthood I never saw coming. I’m comparing the price of dead trees versus live trees. Think about that. One option is a pile of dead trees cut into boards and nailed together. The other is… the exact same trees, just…
-
The Amish Are Going to Hate This Idea
The Amish are going to hate this idea… hear me out. The rocking chair has had an unbelievable run. It’s the Tom Brady of porch furniture. It has dominated for generations, carried Cracker Barrel on its back, and probably sold more sweet tea than every…
Get these in your inbox
No algorithm. No ads. Just the farm, arriving in your email like a letter from a friend who is not doing well.